Pluto

Some bigots have suggested that expanding the number of planets to twelve would have been akin to establishing some kind of "no snowball left behind" program. I for one, am happy that Pluto has been demoted, since I don't believe in social promotion for far-off celestial objects. Anything less would be the soft-bigotry of low expectations.

If Pluto wants so much to be a planet, it's going to have to earn it, and pull itself up by its sub-planetary bootstraps.

Perelman

"I would prefer not to."

Gay translators

In the Global War on Terror, you're either with "us," or your with "them" That is, unless you're gay, in which case you can just stay home.